Via Callum-macdonald.com

In this day and age, being an uneducated consumer could cost you much more at the store than you bargained for. Buy too many prepaid phones or check out the wrong book from the library, and Johnny Law will be on your case in no time. You might think that means someone is regularly monitoring the buying and selling of real human hair, but as far as I can tell, that simply isn’t the case.

You purchase 10 bags of fertilizer, and bam, there are two FBI agents on your doorstep in 20 minutes. You buy 15 kilos of human hair? Not so much as an email. I don’t know how long this will last, so I urge anyone interested in amassing large quantities of human hair to do so now.

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Here’s another fact the average consumer might not know: If you get shorted on a human hair order by an unscrupulous human hair seller, you can call the Better Business Bureau to fight the claim for you. And they won’t even call the authorities, because there is no law or ordinance that requires them to do so. Pretty cool, right?

You purchase 10 bags of fertilizer, and bam, there are two FBI agents on your doorstep in 20 minutes. You buy 15 kilos of human hair? Not so much as an email.

Of course, that doesn’t mean this is a human hair free-for-all. Consumers should remember that it is technically illegal to steal human hair. It’s the same as if you were caught stealing pencils. Just remember, as long as you’re purchasing human hair (whether you’re exchanging money, or services, or boxes of live ferrets), your transaction is well within the law.

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You might ask, what if I have a nosy neighbor named Ellis who peeks through the windows of my garage, which contains a brambly forest of human hair, and he calls the police on me? Don’t sweat it. A patrolman will arrive, and he may even threaten to get a search warrant to investigate your “freak house,” but maintain composure. He will not return, because you can’t get a warrant for that kind of search. It’s all about checks and balances.

The fact is, few Americans know the ins and outs of human hair retail. Hopefully, these helpful facts will come in handy next time you’re looking for a quick pick-me-up or a birthday present for your son. So, get out there and buy some real human hair! Or sell it! Either way, you should feel safe and confident doing so, because you’re an educated consumer!