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What Two Men Choose To Reanimate In The Privacy Of Their Own Bedroom Is Their Own Business

There was a time when every man, woman, and even child in this country was afforded his or her privacy. Our neighbors’ business was exactly that—their business. But somewhere along the line something changed, and I guess it’s up to me to restate what should be obvious: What two grown men behind closed doors choose to reanimate is none of our business.

What happened to quiet dignity? Wasn’t this country founded on the idea that we didn’t want anyone—from politicians to hard-line religious advocates—sticking their noses where they didn’t belong? If two consenting adults choose to pump conductive fluid into a lifeless heap and subject it to an electrical current until it pulses with some semblance of life in the sanctity of their own home, well, isn’t that their own damn business?

In this day and age, it’s impossible to believe we’re even having this conversation. It’s mind-boggling that the same people who extol personal responsibility and decry big government are the first to butt in when it comes to a fellow citizen’s innate right to attempt reanimation. It doesn’t matter if it’s an artfully stitched composite corpse, or a beloved childhood pet, or some other half-formed glob of laboratory-grown flesh, bones, and eyeballs. It’s none of our concern.

If two consenting adults choose to pump conductive fluid into a lifeless heap and subject it to an electrical current until it pulses with some semblance of life in the sanctity of their own home, well, isn’t that their own damn business?

It’s 2017! The government shouldn’t have any say in what two men—or two women, for that matter—attempt to retrieve from the spirit realm to imprison in some kind of decomposing (or artificial!) husk, whether breathing new life into a departed loved one or birthing a flawless modern Adam to replace human beings and pervert the will of God.

What’s next? Telling us who we can swap brains with?