Hello. I am on my way to your home. Very slowly, but I will get there. I will arrive at your home, and then I will touch your computer.
Place a key for me under the door mat. If you do not have a mat, put a key for me in your mailbox. If you do not have a mailbox, leave your door unlocked. If your door is locked, I will gain access to your home anyway. I will touch your computer with my warm hand. I will touch its front and its back.
Do not try to stop me. If you try to stop me, I will still touch your computer.
I do not care if your home is messy or if it is neat. I do not care what kind of computer you have. If you think I will be angry that you have an Apple computer: no. I care about all computers. I do not care about you. I will touch your computer.
My touch is light. My hand is wet but not too wet for a computer.
Do not point your eyes at mine while I touch your computer. You do not need to watch as I touch your computer. If you speak to me, I will scream. Everything is okay. Put your pet in its box. Go to your bedroom and smile. I will not be long.
Do not worry. I will not harm your files. I will not press hard on important keys like shift or num lock. I will only touch the outside of your computer. My touch is light. My hand is wet but not too wet for a computer. My hand is warm. If you touch my hand, I will scream. If I scream, it is fine.
You will know that I am finished touching your computer when I say, “I am finished touching the computer.” You will know that I am ready to leave your home when I exit your home. I will not return.
I am close by now. I am on foot. Are you ready? It does not matter. Hello, I am Bill Gates.