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I Am The New Person You Have To Know About Now

Over the past few months, you might have heard my name a couple times. Maybe you saw my picture in a magazine and thought, “I do not know this person. Why is it that I keep seeing her in magazines?” Or perhaps you heard one of my songs on the radio and wondered, “Why are they playing this song, this particular one, over and over and over again? I do not think it is better than the other songs. And yet, incessantly it plays. Why?” The reason is simple.

I am the new person you have to know about now. I am here, and there is nothing you can do to resist knowing me. Hello!

But what exactly does this mean? Over the course of the next several months, I will continue to infiltrate every form of media you come into contact with on a daily basis. You will hear my music on the radio. You will see me on late-night talk shows and various other television programs. Before long, my face will seem familiar to you, because you will be made to see it repeatedly on thousands of websites, in thousands of ads and articles and interviews all over the internet. Despite the fact that you might not seek out this knowledge of me, I will be taught to you by the intertwining forces of culture and capitalism, and you will have no choice but to know me. Ignorance is not an option.

So, hopefully you like me! But even if you don’t, you will still know about me. Everyone will. Because I am the person you have to know about now.

…you will have no choice but to know me. Ignorance is not an option.

It might not seem completely clear why I, out of the 7 billion people on this planet, have been chosen as the person you have to know about now. Like those before me whom you have been forced to know about, I am not the best. Perhaps I am not the worst, but I am certainly not the best. And yet, in spite of that, I am still the person who you must know now. Why?

Do not bother yourself with the question of why. In matters such as these, there is little reason or logic. Just know that it is. And I am. And, therefore, you must know my face, and my voice, and countless other things about me that you do not fucking give a shit about knowing.

I have been chosen. And I will be made known.

One day, in the near future, you might be standing on a street corner when my song pops into your head. You will think it is strange, since you do not particularly like this song and cannot quite remember where you heard it. But know it you will. And so will everyone else. Why? Because I am the new person. The one everyone has to know about now. I am not that interesting. I am not that great. But now I am here, for more or less arbitrary reasons. And you have to know about me.

See you around.