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I Don’t Give A Shit, I’ll Destigmatize Anything

There are plenty of movements these days fighting to change society’s view on taboo topics. With social media campaigns, confessional art, and public conversations, activists and regular folks alike are doing their part to break down repressive double standards and normalize talking about things like mental illness, HIV, and abortion. These people are acting according to their consciences to make society more open and accepting.

Personally, though, I really don’t give a shit. I’ll destigmatize anything.

Look, I don’t have a dog in this race. If society shames people for it, I’ll do whatever the hell it takes to make it mainstream. You name it, I’ll normalize it. Antidepressants, barbiturates, getting drunk at work—I truly do not care. I’ve got tons of time. I’ll throw everything I’ve got into destigmatizing making out with your cousin, and when that’s done, I’ll destigmatize some other bullshit. Free bleeding, maybe.

Good for society, bad for society, it honestly means as much to me as the crud I wipe off my nose. I’ll destigmatize wearing a full hijab or consenting relationships between men and boys without even batting a fucking eyelash. I’ll go as hard destigmatizing washing your dick in a public fountain as I would getting people to wear white after Labor Day. Then I’ll be on to the next one. You’ll be having earnest national conversations about the merits of cannibalism while I’m off flipping a coin to see whether I’m destigmatizing animal sacrifice or single motherhood next.

I’ll do whatever it takes to change hearts and minds about whatever the fuck hill I’m dying on, too. I’ll hold a handwritten sign about why I love dogfighting in a black-and-white photograph. I’ll write something on my face in Sharpie like “FAT AND PROUD” or “WHAT A CASTRATO LOOKS LIKE.” I’ll amplify whoever’s voice. I’ll put out a video called “My Journey To Scat Play,” and I’ll promote the shit out of it with a hashtag like #MyScatStory so people can share their own journeys. Everyone’s going to be sharing and supporting each other and breaking down barriers. It’ll be fucking beautiful.

I do not half-ass things. If I’m destigmatizing foreskin restoration surgery, I will pour every ounce of myself, every fiber of my being, into making paying a doctor to bring your foreskin back the most normal thing there is. I will work night and day, online and off, for months, years, or decades to painstakingly push the boulder of stigma up and over the hilltop of acceptance. Whatever it takes, I will do. Whatever the cost, I will bear it. I will fundamentally and permanently alter society’s core values for no reason other than I kind of feel like it.

Matte doorknobs are kind of weird, right? Yeah, you just fucking wait until I get done with them.

Plus, I’ll destigmatize shit you’d never even have thought of. Totally inconsequential. I’ll turn dipping chicken nuggets into yogurt from a nasty image you’ve never imagined until just now into a poster in every McDonald’s. Tying your shoe with one foot hovering in the air instead of propping it up on something or kneeling? Sure, I’ll destigmatize that, why not? I’ll start an organization with chapters on 50 different college campuses about it and get Mia Wasikowska as the celebrity spokesperson.

So, fuck it. I’ll destigmatize anything on this godforsaken Earth. Whatever it is, no matter how big, small, fucked up, or related to bestiality it is, I guarantee that when I’m done with it, you’ll say, out loud, “That’s normal.” And if by the end of my gut-wrenching campaigns in which I stand nude out in public and dare people to yell things at me you still don’t believe me? Well, I really could not care less. I don’t give a shit.