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If Any Terrorist Organizations Want To Use My Idea About A Walking Pyramid That Sits On The White House, That’s Fine

As a professional creative, getting paid for my ideas is extremely important. The money I receive for my work is my only source of income, so I’m usually very vigilant about making sure that my work is copyrighted and that I receive credit and compensation for anything that I produce. That being said, if any terrorist organizations want to use my idea about a huge walking pyramid that sits on the White House, they should feel free to take it without worrying about giving me anything in return.

The idea is actually very simple: The basic premise is that, suddenly and without warning, an enormous stone pyramid with legs rises up out of the Atlantic Ocean and makes its way from the Eastern Seaboard of the United States to Washington, D.C., at which point it sits down on the White House, thus destroying it.

The pyramid would be very similar to the Egyptian pyramids, but much bigger and with legs. The function of the legs, as I have conceived of them, is twofold: First, they allow the incredibly large pyramid to walk, or even sprint, to the White House. Second, the legs can also be used to kick American tanks and soldiers out of the way. If necessary, the giant walking pyramid could also use its legs to punt the president into the ocean.

…anyone with the means and desire should feel free to use my Walking Pyramid Plan to destroy the White House without feeling the need to provide me with remuneration of any kind.

While I do not condone terrorism of any kind, I believe a plan like this is probably most suitable for a terrorist organization interested in bringing about the downfall of the United States, such as ISIS or al-Qaeda. With that said, anyone with the means and desire should feel free to use my Walking Pyramid Plan to destroy the White House without being obligated to provide me with remuneration of any kind. Consider this my gift to the internet—an outpouring of pure creativity that I simply want the world to enjoy without any benefit to me.

If a terrorist organization was feeling particularly generous, they could construct some sort of speaker system in order to have their mammoth sentient pyramid blast my name repeatedly as it slouches noisily across Delaware and Maryland on its way to go sit on the White House. This is absolutely not required, though, as I do not expect to be formally credited for this idea.

Because, at the end of the day, I chose to pursue a career as a creative in order to enrich other people with my ideas. Anybody who’s in this line of work for the money or the recognition is doing it for the wrong reasons. So, if ISIS or Boko Haram or even North Korea wants to use my idea of sending a gigantic pyramid with legs and enormous Air Jordan sneakers to walk up to the White House and sit on it, they should be my guest. For me, this is simply a labor of love.