When I bought my waterbed last month, I thought I did everything right. I checked out all the reviews online, I tried one out in the store, and I made sure I was getting the best bed for the best price. On the day my brand-new waterbed finally arrived, I was ecstatic. Then I discovered the drowned body of former chess world champion Bobby Fischer inside.
From the first night I slept on my bed, I knew something was wrong. It certainly didn’t feel like the waterbed in the store, and there was a noticeable lump on one side of the mattress. I was going to just let it go, but eventually my curiosity got the best of me. It was my bed, and I needed to know what was inside.
As I started draining the bed out, I realized that this was no small lump I was dealing with. Without the water to hide its outline, the problem was as clear as day: There was a large, bloated corpse in my bed. I cut the mattress open to look at it, and although prolonged exposure to water had really done a number on him, I immediately recognized the face I saw. Staring back at me was one-time chess legend Bobby Fischer.
The Fischer estate came by to identify the body, and they told me, yep, that’s the guy.
It’s the kind of thing you never think will happen to you. This bed had four and a half stars online and dozens of positive write-ups. When you pay $300 for a bed, you expect a certain level of quality, and I don’t think it’s too much to ask for a bed without a deceased superstar of the chess world inside. I tried calling the waterbed company to see what they could do about it, but they said that since I didn’t buy a warranty, I’m stuck with it.
The Fischer estate came by to identify the body, and they told me, yep, that’s the guy. Now, I have to figure out what to do with both a torn-up bed and the waterlogged body of arguably the greatest chess player of all time. What a nightmare.
Has this sort of thing happened to anybody else? I didn’t see anyone mention finding the body of a chess grandmaster inside their beds in the reviews I read, so maybe this is a one-time thing. If the company makes a habit of this, though, they need to take a serious look at their business practices, because this is totally unacceptable. Finding the lifeless body of Bobby Fischer inside an important purchase like a waterbed is something no consumer should ever have to go through.