Sometimes when you’re looking at some dinged up old thing, you might think that it’s nothing more than another piece of trash. But it’s not always that simple. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, it’s that one man’s garbage could very well be another man’s Garbage God.

Sure, a broken record player from 1982 might seem like a worthless hunk of junk to you, but who’s to say someone else doesn’t think of it as The Almighty Creator of the Universe and Supreme Totality? Maybe it doesn’t play music anymore or look brand new, but for some person out there, it could be The Supreme Being that reigns righteously over man and beast, guiding our souls to the eternal realm of peace beyond the world of the living.


Most people might not think twice about throwing out some scuffed up Russian nesting doll that’s been accumulating dust on the shelf. But maybe there’s some collector out there who sees that tacky little tchotchke as a valuable part of the Pantheon of Primordial Beings, the all-powerful rulers of the dual realms of heaven and earth who decide the fates of all human beings from their lofty kingdom in the sky.

Or take some worn-out old jalopy. A real grade-A clunker you wouldn’t want to drive in a hundred years. For all you know, somebody might look at that same car and think, “This is just what I’ve been looking for: Galyos, the four-headed She-ram to whom I pray for a prosperous harvest and protection from the cruel Thunder God.”

A couple years back, I was helping my friend Doug move out of his old place, and I noticed that he was throwing away this torn up quilt. Now, in his eyes, it was just some raggedy old thing that was taking up space. But I saw something holy that promised me everlasting life if I devoted my life to serving it. So I took it home and displayed it prominently in my living room. I loved showing people that quilt. Getting them to sing praises in its honor, to make sacrifices to it, to call upon it to guide the hearts of all humanity in the service of its divine will. And to think Doug almost threw it away!


But that’s exactly my point. If you see some torn up T-shirt, or a bent-out-of-shape bicycle wheel, or an old pogo stick that doesn’t have the bounce in it anymore, don’t just call it a hunk of junk. Because for all you know, you could be talking about someone’s tripartite demiurge, The Immaculate Deity to whom they turn for guidance in the pursuit of spiritual salvation.