No couple is perfect. My girlfriend and I are usually on the same page, but like everyone else, we find ourselves at odds. We get into petty arguments, they escalate, and both parties end up licking their wounds for the rest of the night. Sometimes, though, you have to be the bigger person and apologize while subtly pointing out everything your partner did wrong.

It can be tempting to fight until the bitter end, but more often than not, you’re better off stepping up and making some concessions that quietly discredit anything your significant other just said. If you feel yourself nearing the end of your rope, do the mature thing and make amends while alluding to each of their flaws. Just set a good example and vent your anger through a veiled apology—it will make you feel better in the long run.

…do the mature thing and make amends while alluding to each of their flaws.

In reality, a large part of sustaining a functional, long-term relationship is having the maturity to admit you’re at fault while simultaneously placing the blame entirely on the other person. You don’t always have to be right—you can just imply it in a way that undercuts your loved one’s words without even seeming to. Once in a while, you have to be the one to take the moral high ground and list all your significant other’s shortcomings after saying “I’m sorry.”

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Chances are, they’ve done the same for you.

At the end of the day, it’s important to remember that your partner is more important than any argument you might have. So, no matter what happens, make sure to tell them you love them while thinking about every grievance you’ve ever shared.